


Shepard lost

by CrullerCrowd5X



Category: Mass Effect
Genre: Alternate Ending, F/F, F/M, M/M, Mind Control
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-06-25
Updated: 2017-02-26
Packaged: 2018-02-06 06:02:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 6
Words: 7,956
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1847074
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CrullerCrowd5X/pseuds/CrullerCrowd5X
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>when the Shepard was given the choices it was all in her mind to protect her self from when she didn't have a choice</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. the beginning of the journey

**Author's Note:**

> hi all 
> 
> sorry i haven't been around and i know that your all waiting for the ending but at the moment got a bit of writers block but i will when i have it down i will post it on here ASAP so yeah see you all when i've got that up 
> 
> this kind of popped up in my head over th last week while ive been waiting for my laptop to be fix and here it is and before you ask yes im really weird in my writing destions 
> 
> any way mini-rant over enjoy don't forget to leave a comment only way im going to improve 
> 
> and also i do have a halo fan fic idea that i may put up yea's or nay's please
> 
> Crowd out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shepard wakes after the crucible fires to something she wasn't expecting 
> 
> revision date:05/07/2014

A flash of red light and heat filled her face sucking the air from her throat leaving her breathless. A hiss of air came from one of the vents of the helmet filling the space between the faceplate and her face with crisp recycled air.

Through the slit in the face plate she saw the Normandy being torn apart the dirty yellow beam from the unknown ship. As it almost seemed over the drive core blew completely destroying the ship. Small bits of shrapnel and debris collided and pinged of her suit. The slight ringing in her ears started to fade slowly but surely it stopped all together and now all she could hear was her jagged breath and a very faint drilling noise.

She began to relax for a moment while she thought of  escape plan hopefully her crew could see that she was floating there in the big black nothing of space.

That drilling noise was getting louder now she cocked her head as if she knew what its from. then suddenly air was pulled from her suit again “fuck” she growled, trying to patch the leak but to no avail her air gauge dropping lower and lower. Now that noise like someone drilling through wood right next to ears now, but still getting louder and louder and as the planet grew closer and closer.

Now she was struggling to gain any air as the gauge dropped to zero. As she took her last breaths the searing heat was overwhelming. She was burning up she realized “burning up in atmo what a way to go” she thought as her vision started to lose colour and black creeping in the sides as well, the grey colour of the ground rushing up to meet her but all she could do was smile.

 

THUD

 

She woke with a gasp a sense of deja vu creped in as she looked around and saw lab equipment heart monitor, and other machines, it looked a lot like the lab, she woke when she was resurrected, except for the fact she could see stars and a massive planet which in her mind looked a lot like earth. She tried to move but her limbs refused entirely, they were sore and incredibly stiff, her head was pounding and it felt like it had split open and all of its contents removed and a boiling hot stone as put in its place. Her side ached for some reason but most of all she felt in her words “crispy”

A small hiss came from ahead as a figure came up from the floor and started to walk towards her. Shepard had no idea where she was even if she did she couldn’t do much about that so she played dead.

The figure was a turian female who was wearing a long white coat “so she’s a doctor then” shepard thought but she kept still with her eyes half closed, she decided to see what this doctor will do.

The turian approached and walked to one of the monitors and pulled out a datapad and started to type then moved to the next monitor but squinted and moved closer to the screen. “thats odd”. she muttered the pulled back and activated her omni-tool “doctor sorry to interrupt but there something weird is happening to the EGG and now has returned to normal” the doctor said with a confused tone, a voice crackled back “I'm on my way”. The doctor put away the omni-tool and came closer to her and then sat in the chair. The searing hot heat in her skull and the increasing in pain also. Shepard was trained to resist and cope with pain during her N7 training but this was on a whole new level, 13 times higher and her resistance was wearing thin.

Another hiss and the doctor stood up as another figure entered the massive room asari this time. Shepard couldn't focus on both the pain and the conversation so she took the pain trying to hold it back, but it was like a dam that was overflowing, it kept increasing and increasing until the mental barrier she had, had burst and  she screamed out in pain and then black out.

 

* * *

 

As Liara approached the turian doctor who she had forgotten her name who pointed to the EEG and liara saw that the levels had dropped to normal, but her hopes that had started to grow was crushed as  the levels started to rise again. She looked over to the human clamped on to a spended panel, but the most heartbreaking thing for her was the thick socket like device that was crammed into back of her head.

Shepard’s face started to screw up as if she was in pain then asari rushed over “Jane can you hear me” Shepards face grew tighter and tighter then her eyes flew open and a blood curdling scream was let out. After a few seconds she stopped and sagged against the claps which then released her. She fell to the ground but liara caught her but she wasn’t strong enough to hold her and brought her to the ground.

The turian doctor was wide eyed looking at Shepard “did you see that?” she said in disbelief,”what” Liara said stroking Janes head and slowly rocking it back and forth, “her eye’s” she swallowed “they were black”

A soft moan came from liara’s lap they both looked down and saw the human stirring. the famous rich green eyes fluttered open but then went wide as they locked onto the asari and turian above her, “Jane?” Liara said softly

Both Liara and the turian unprepared for the biotic pulse from the women who scrambled up and moved unsteadily away as fast as she could. “Jane!” Liara called out trying to get to her feet but her head was spinning from the pulse.

Liara saw that Shepard was going for the lift so reluctantly she threw out a stasis and froze Jane on the spot. both the turian and the asari reach the frozen specter. the doctor pulled out a needle with sedatives just in case. “Shepard?” Liara asked but the looking the eyes of the strongest person she knew in the galaxy she saw only fear “p-p-ple-ase let me go” came a whimper from the women.

With a nod to the turian, Liara droped the stasis and the doctor injected Shepard with the sedatives. Shepard slumped to floor once again. Liara was in shock the only thing that she could do was  look over what was left of the stronest person she had ever met.

 

“what did they do to you?”


	2. awakening

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> we find out what happened after Shepard wakes from ending the war only to collapse again

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ah there we are the second chapter for you all so enjoy 
> 
> well you should enjoy I toiled 2 day away for this so there we go but any way enjoy 
> 
> -captain CrullerCrowd, signing off
> 
> P.S. this is my first time writing a renegade shep so tell me if it works or no

As Jane’s frightened eyes drifted closed and her body slumped against Liara worry flooded the asari. As she lowered the battered body of commander shepard to the ground of the chamber they had found her in Liara slowly rocked the head of the human against her chest the same way a mother would console her child.

 

“What happened to you my love?” she asked the unconscious women in her lap as the turian doctor pulled a gurney towards the asari.

 

Together they lifted the human onto they moved to wheel her out when a hologram appeared in front of the pair.

 

The hologram was a human child. he could only of been 8 or 9 years old. he was dressed in light gray “hoodie” as Jane called them, she was obsessed with her N7 hoodie it was worn and the print and colour was faded from use and it had a couple of holes but the women loved it and couldn't replace it.

 

“I wouldn’t remove her from the chamber if i were you” the child said innocently arm swing side to side slightly.

 

“Why’s that?” the turian doctor asked in a low tone with her mandibles pressed against her jaw’s in anxiety.

 

“Because the implant in her head will malfunction and her bio-signs would degrade and that would ruin plans set in place” the child said with a slight tone of a threat in his voice.

 

“Wait did you do this to her?” Liara said walking in front of the gurney and pointed at the holo child

 

“yes” he said without a falter staring into the asari’s accusing eye’s

 

Liara was taken back by this “w-what? why?”

 

The holo-child just smiled and said “that will become clear in due time” and then turned and as he was walking away he started to fade and then became nothing

 

Liara started to look up and down from where the holo-child stood and were shepard was lead holding her head as she felt a migraine coming

 

“I need to talk to the Hackett”

 

* * *

 

She floated was that how she felt she wasn't sure it was like she was in space but without a suit it felt weird

 

As she looked around as the swirling of black and dark purple that was her vision she wonder

 

Did i do it

 

Did i stop the reapers

 

But i am i dead

 

I had a promise to keep

 

I promised liara i would come back and i have failed that

 

“You haven’t failed” a voice said out of the dark

 

But where am i  she thought to the voice

 

“This is a failsafe this is because you woke to early and the implant had not finished grafting to your neural net yet the process is only 25.73% complete so the failsafe activated and now your consciousness has been put into a virtual reality construct” the voice replied

 

Jane pondered the mean of this but only one thought came to mind  

 

Bit of a crappy reality

 

* * *

 

Its been 7 months since they had found Shepard clamped to a the metal panel injured and should be dead with and implant unknown origins crudely shoved into her head and they still have no clue why its there, what function it has, and what put it there.

 

But despite all this the crucible worked but not how they intended it to.

 

As soon as the crucible fired, 8 months ago,  the reapers just stopped, stopped firing, stopped everything and they haven't moved since

 

So the alliance researched what had happened for 3 months they worked hard rebuilding towns and cities, rebuilding infrastructure, decoding the pulse and finding out what had happened to shepard, and by the third month they got their answer the normandy had returned and EDI had received the same pulse the reapers had and she knew what had happened

 

“Normandy to Admiral Hackett” Joker said over the comm sounding excited to meet up with the commander again

 

“Hackett to the normandy it good to see you again” the grainy voice filling the ship as Joker had put it ship wide, “they needed the moral boost” was all he said to Garrus when he questioned it.

 

“You too sir requesting to dock at the citadel”

 

“Im guessing you have the comm ship wide flight lieutenant” that wasn’t the response he expected to hear

 

Joker gulped before answering “yes sir”

 

“Ok then i might as well tell you all now” there was a moment of silence as if Hackett was collecting himself “i know you all want to see commander Shepard as you know her at the present moment in time that is not possible” a wave of despair flooded the ship

 

Garus gripped the back of Jokers chair so hard the casing almost cracked

 

Liara collapsed against the servers in her office sobbing

 

Traynor gripped the console tears rolling down her cheeks

 

Javik bowed his head in respect

 

Tail looked on in despair

 

James punched the workbench

 

“There is some good new the commander isn’t dead she is severely incapacitated inside the citadel i will meet you at the docking bay and i will take you to her. Hackett out”

 

Hhe crew was silent as they past Harbinger in a sort of silent vigil over the citadel. they pulled into docking bay D-24 and true to his word Hackett stood there with a stand by crew to man the ship while they were away from the normandy

 

As the crew followed the Admiral they entered the elevator but instead of going to a hospital they went to the presidium this confused them all but they didn’t question Hackett

 

At the soft ding the doors opened and headed out. they were surprised at the level of damage the presidium was in it was like nothing had happened, no battles, no harvesting, nothing not a scratch anywhere

 

As they entered the lift for the tower instead of going up it went down this time Liara voiced her concerns

 

“Sir whats going on here” her voice wavering

 

“You will see”

 

* * *

 

As they entered this oval like room they could hear lightning striking the walls and see 2 of the wards and earth. suddenly the platform under them shuddered and started to rise towards the ceiling which parted to a large room  

 

Liara was the first to see Shepard and all she could do was gasp as she saw Jane the love of her life looking like she had been strung up. liara saw Shepard caked in blood, hers and others, her body armor wrecked and a lot of it missing, burns covered her body. and it looked like she had been shot as well.

 

“She was found here about 2 and half months ago but we have no idea why she is here or what had happened” Hackett explained to the crew “she has extensive injuries like she has just crawled out of a battle by all rights she should be dead” that last comment brought on a whimper from Liara “we have no idea whats happening to her are the moment her brain waves are all over the place and there is also this” he beckoned the group to follow him

 

He walked up to a small desk and picked up a small bloody item “we found this only a foot away from her” he looked out to the group they hadn't caught on “this is a piece of her skull and that not the worse part” he put the piece of bone down and pulled out a datapad a booted it up “upon examination there is an implant where that piece of bone should be” using the datapad he showed the crew the implant

 

The picture showed the base of her skull was an oval like device with a plug on the right side and 2 lights on the left one was blue the other was red

 

“Enough i will find out what happened” Javik announced the room pushing past crew and grasping shepards bloody arm

 

* * *

 

Javik watched though her eyes as she entered the familiar oval like room but there were 2 people that he couldn't see properly, their faces a blur, and couldn't hear properly either, their voice muffled

 

One seemed friendly while the other point a gun at the both of them  but then her arm seemed to raise by it self and shot the friendly one and the unfriendly one shot her in return

the vision seemed to fade but it returned again she was sat down this time with the friendly one she shot his voice coming clear slightly “you did good child” then he slumped again

 

She looked down her hand cover in blood and it faded to black

 

She woke again in the room that they were in he could see the battle raging outside but also saw a small child but still not being able to hear or see this child properly was worrying

 

Suddenly Shepard grasped the back of her head and fell into blackness

 

* * *

 

 

When he came back to reality he was on the ground with a medic checking him over

 

“Move human” he grumbled shoving the medic away

 

“What happened” Liara ask gently “you suddenly grasped the back of your head and started to scream”

 

“she was caught by surprise and was a wake when they drilled into her skull” he stated feeling claw marks in the back of his head

 

they all glanced at Shepard

 

* * *

 

Shepard was sat in a lovely park over looking a lake she was really comfortable though she really didn’t like fact nothing here was real

 

ALERT integration almost complete prepare for activation

 

“Finally what is this going to do torture me for all of eternity or something cooler” she said throwing her arms in the air

 

ACTIVATION

 

The park fade to white as she stood on nothing just white it looked like she was in purgatory gods she hoped not

 

As she turned  and still she saw nothing “ah great its ment to bore me for all eternity”

 

But as she turn one last time there was a man sat in a bright red leather chair drink in hand reminding her of the illusive man a lot he wore a pin stripe suit like one from the ancient movies she used to watch.

 

“Um hello” she said looking at the man “i thought i was the only one in here” she said point around

 

“Well that was the case until now” oh god that voice it reminded her of the actor in the 21 century what was his name? she pondered

 

“Um thanks i think and the name you’re looking for was David Tennant” he said lean back looking smug and took a swig from his drink

 

“What the fuck is going on here” she was at her wits end with being stuck here for gods knows then to be ridiculed “and i want a gods damn straight answer”

 

“Well um lets see im a interface to the implant in the back of your skull and at the moment in the real world you're on the citadel with girlfriend at your bed side, Liara i think her name was, and wait whats her name um ah yes Miranda as well and you’ve been here for 8 months 3 days 6 hours and 48 minutes” the ‘Interface’ said looking even more incredibly smug with himself

 

Well he did answer what i wanted “so i noticed you can read your mind” she sitting in her own chair

 

“Well you won't fully understand but yes, yes i can” he nodded taking another sip

 

“Well you need another name than interface” she said resting her eye and resting her head on the back of the chair

 

and shit-eating grin spread across his face “what about David”

 

“Yeah ok then” she said with own grin “but lets just get out of here because i just want to eat a real burger”

 

“Oh yeah i know” he said drink and chair disappearing “deactivating failsafe see you out there” with another grin across his face and with that he was gone the it was like someone was turning up the brightness so she couldn't she at all  

 

Then 2 pairs of hand grabbed her shoulders holding her down but she still couldn't see what was going on so to escape she throw and small biotic flare she heard objects being slammed into and people hitting the floor hard

 

As soon as could she used all of her strength to push herself up and get out of the room

 

“David where the fuck are you”

 

* * *

 

“Liara how are you” the ex-cerberus officer asked checking Shepards vitals and writing down notes

 

“Im doing a bit better” the asari said quietly holding Shepards hand in her own “i just want her back”

 

“I understand i really do” but the Miranda was too focused on the monitor

 

“What is it?” Liara asked noticing the look on Miranda’s face

 

“Well her heart rate is rising and her brain waves all over the shop but i don’t know wha-”

 

Suddenly Shepard started to shake violently as if in a seizure  “hold her down” Miranda shouted to Liara  pressing the button for more staff and joining Liara to hold down her former commander suddenly Janes eye shot open and with a flash of blue a purple they were thrown to different side of the room

 

Miranda looked up to see Shepards balling her hands in her eyes and staggering around if blind

 

“David where the fuck are you”

 

She heard Shepard say in a raspy voice

 

Miranda was struggling to stand up to try and calm the commander down she heard one the nurse squeal “security” before running away

 

Both Liara and Miranda were up now and started to stagger after Jane they followed her to the presidium but by this time c-sec was involved and started point their weapons at the commander but before something was said the ear-splitting scream of a reaper fill the station as Harbinger landed the the right of Miranda and Liara

 

Everyone was running in every direction except shepard who was staring at the king of the reapers as she called him before she was pulled to the ground by Liara and Miranda

 

But nothing happened no reaper lasers were fired no troops deployed nothing again. Shepard was the first to stand out of the the trio who again stared at the reaper

 

“Shepard what's going on”

 

“Goddess Jane what were you thinking”

 

But nothing go her attention who only whispered one word before collapsing again to the ground  but was caught but the pair by her who both looked up to see the reaper lift off and sat above the citadel tower

 

“What did she say” Miranda look and Liara who said “go”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> don't for get any comment are both use full for me and it will increase your entrainment value for this piece and don't forget kudos as well :)


	3. awoken

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> shepard wakes later that day after she awakes for the first time

Even before she fell into liara’s arms she found herself in a chair in front of David still in his red chair smoking and drinking what Shepard thought was brandy.

“Well that was fun” he said with a grin

“Before you say anything else you will tell me what the fuck just happened” Shepard said with a growl jumping up to her feet and walking over to the man

The man just took another sip of his drink “well in your shock in your waking you sent out a biotic pulse and then ran out of the room to find me which I found funny” he was interrupted by a growl from the woman leaning over him “anyway you where stopped in your running around the citadel and harbinger thought you were in danger and intervened”

Shepard backed off and started to walk away from the man and thought

_That fucking reaper thought I was in danger_

_What a second who was in that room_

“Tell me who was in that room” Shepard said as she turned to find David walking behind her

“Well if I have my names right that would be doctor liara T’Soni and a Miranda Lawson” he said simple

“Fuck did I hurt her” Shepard said her voice strained and painfully gripping David’s arms

“Hurt who”

“You know who the fuck I mean” she almost shouted at the man

“Apart from some bruising she will be ok” David said after a second

Shepard released the man and started to walk away until she turned again “fuck sake now you I want you to get me the fuck out of here”

“I can’t just yet I need you to know something’s”

“No you will get me out”

“I can’t yet” gesturing to some chairs that came into view they both sat down ”now you need to know that there is an implant in the back off your head this implant allows you to do amazing thing and more” he took a breath as he let Shepard absorb the information “now this implant allows the communication with every reaper no matter the distance also you have a form of control over them”

“Good I can tell them to blow themselves up” she said leaning forward

“But that would also destroy the implant that is connected to almost every part of your brain because in a way I am a reaper”

“Why the fuck did this happen” Shepard said with a sigh as she collapsed back into the chair

“I will let him explain” David said nodding behind her she looked around to see a massive group of aliens that she had never seen before and someone she thought she would never see again

“John” she whispered and slowly stood up and ran and pulled the man into her arms “wait you’re dead”

“He is” said a deep voice

“Fuck no you don’t even get to use his form ever get the fuck out now” she screamed in harbingers face with tears streaming down her face. The man faded away and disappeared

“We came to the conclusion that in one of the cycles that there would be a being that would make us even more” a Prothean stepped forward

“So we put forward a plan that bring that being into our fold” another alien stepped forward that reminded Shepard and a deformed hannar

“And that plan has been put into place” David said from her side “and you are that being”

 

 

And with a flash she woke in a hospital bed gasping. As she looked around catching her breath she saw hospital equipment around her and the beeping of a heart monitor. She looked to her left and saw a ceiling to floor window and out of that she saw the presidium in its glory. As she sat up she pulled leads off of her and slid her leg out of the covers and went to stand but her legs gave out under her.

As he tried to pull herself up the door slid pen and two people rushed to help her back onto her bed. When Shepard looked up she saw Miranda and doctor chakwas looking at her

“How are you feeling” chakwas spoke in her normal chipper voice

“Like my heads been spilt open” Shepard said going to scratch the back of her head but Miranda grabbed her hand

“That wouldn’t be a good idea Shepard” she said simply

“Why would that be a bad idea” Shepard said looking up at the woman “ah no don’t tell me I already know” lowering her arm from her head

“You know about it” Miranda asked pulling up a chair to the edge of her bed

“Yeah David explained it” Shepard said taking the glass of water from chakwas

“Oh and who’s this David”

“Oh the interface between me and the implant” Shepard said after taking a couple of gulps of water from the glass

“Oh” was all Miranda could say before leaning back in her chair

“Ok then commander” chakwas said while checking her IV’s and monitors “after this morning’s activities you will be weak but you need to rest and regain you’re strength though physiotherapy” she said with a small pat on Shepard’s shoulder and with that chakwas went to leave but the door opened and liara almost charged into the doctor

“Liara!” Shepard almost shouted and went to try and get up but liara came over and grasped her hand ”I'm so sorry about earlier” grasping liara’s hand as tight as she could

“That’s ok” liara said tears welling up in her eyes at the sight of her bond mate finally awake after so long

Shepard started to wipe away the tears until admiral hacket walked in with two armed soldiers flanking him and taking up positions at the door

“Commander it’s- good to see you finally awake after so long“ the admiral said shaking her hand “now if it’s not too early to ask can you tell me why there is reaper tech in your head and why every reaper has been still for the last 8 months”

Shepard collected her thoughts before asking “well as far as I know this is plan put together by the reapers but to what ends I don’t know”

 

 

“We need to call a meeting” David said simply looking at the man opposite him

“I agree but at what location” the man said simply back with small nods with his head

David thought for a moment “I think the sol system but at the edge of the system”

 

 

Shepard continued her explanation of what she knew “but this plan was put together eons ago but I still don’t know what this plan entails”

The admiral stood there thinking over what the woman had just told her “ok then commander so what they doing for the moment”

“I'm still not sure but I think they are waiting for something” she said after a moment

A man came through the door at that moment. This man was dress in alliance uniform and was holding a data pad “sir I think you’re going to want to see this” he said passing the pad over to hacket

“Well it appears that that something has come they are on the move again” he said after he read the data pad’s contents

“What do you mean” Shepard asked confusion plastered over her face

“Every reaper in the galaxy has started to move in this direction”

Shepard then looked off for a moment then looked at the space to the side of the admiral “what the fuck are you doing”

“Excuse me commander”

“I said what the fuck are you doing calling all of them here David”

“Um what is going on doctor” hacket asked liara

“I'm not sure sir let me try something” liara said after a moment and grasped Shepard’s hand and threw her head back and then brought her head back forward but her eyes were black

As liara looked around she was still in the hospital room with nothing different expect one addition to the people to the room. A man was standing there in a pin striped suit who looked over at her

“Ah good you joined us liara”

“Liara what you doing here” Shepard looked at her bond mate

“Ah let me explain she using the bond to connect to your mind” the man said smugly before continuing “anyway they been called here for a meeting”

“Why”

“We need to discuss the new direction that we need and you will be required to come harbinger will give you a lift” he said before disappearing

Liara stopped the bond and was returned to the room

“Commander what's just happened?”

“I need a couple things” Shepard said after a couple moments and then went to get dressed and then picked up her Cain the went to leave the room before being stopped by the guards stood there blocking her exit

“Commander I need you to explain what's going on right now” hacket demanded

“well they have called a meeting and so that fucker up there doesn’t send troops to pull me out of here I am going now” Shepard said before pushing the two guards out of her way and walked as fast she could with the Cain

 


	4. the meeting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the meeting of the reapers takes place

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey guys and gals sorry i haven't written in a while but im back now

Shepard growls to herself as she pushes though the crowd as she sees a what looks like a small version of a reaper descend from harbinger and land in front of her. the craft was only slightly bigger than one of the shuttles that the Normandy uses but it lands on long legs and the back opens up into a small compartment the door was about to close when liara pushes herself inside aswell.

"what the fuck liara don't think your coming with me its to dangerous for you what if you become indoctrinated" Shepard says dropping the nuke like gun at her feet and quickly wrapping her arms around liara.

"as you put why shouldn't i? i love you and you've been away for far to long for me to leave you so im not going anywhere" liara say softly rubbing her face into Shepard's neck softly moaning softly at the feeling of Shepard holding her in her arms liara wanted this moment never to end but they felt the ship jolt slightly at the tail tail sign of jumping into FTL.

Shepard rubs the back of her head as she feel the implant start to heat up slightly as she gets closer to the biggest meeting of reapers in the galaxy and she lets out a loud groan as she sees David waltz into her view "fuck sake what do you want?" she growls slightly 

"oh well i was going to tell you how these meetings work or i could just go" he says in a friendly tone with his hands in his pockets while he looks like hes inspecting his shoe

"oh fuck fine then" Shepard says grinding her teeth slightly glaring at David

David chuckles softly and leans against the wall as he watch Shepard and liara "well OK but just because you asked nicely. OK then well the ships will be in a large circle but all the 'reapers' will be meeting in harbinger in the center in a hologram form let me show you the way" David said simply and quickly using his hands to gesture at the name reaper and when he finish the map of the inside structure of the largest reaper harbinger

Shepard growls softly and shakes her head slightly at what the intelligence said to her "fine then why meeting now?"

"your emergence as the controlling force of the reapers" David said softly with a grin

Shepard lets out a loud groan and sits back rubbing her head when she felt the ship drop out of FTL and the door opens and she and liara leaves walking along the glowing path that only she could she and they kept walking for what felt like hours but it was only a couple of minutes and they entered a giant room filled with hundreds of thousand if not millions of people of species that they never seen at all and a large squid like creature in the center of the room 

"wow"liara said softly as every species turn and stare at Shepard and liara as they walked to the center of the room where they stood for a while before a giant loud booming voice fill the room that Shepard had heard enough times for a life time 

"Shepard our savoir is here" harbingers voice filling the room and the creatures started chanting her name and she looks around in wonder at the projections of the reapers filling the sky 

"shut up" Shepard shouts loudly looking around the room as it falls silent "right now we are going to set out some rules"


	5. The Meeting Part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shepard finally finds out what's going on with surprising results

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey guys 
> 
> sorry it took so long to get this to you
> 
> I had to replan everything I had planned for this so apologies to everyone waiting 
> 
> anyway here you go and enjoy yours selfs 
> 
> P.S. if anyone wants to become a beta for me just send me a message and I'll get to you as soon as i can  
> crowd out

Liara stared at everyone in the large chamber species from every shape and size stood there. There must have been thousands of creatures there looking at both liara and shepard. It was silent for a moment before on creature out of the thousands moved forward a fraction 

 

“What do you mean by ‘ground rules’?”

 

“Exactly what it means idiot” shepard growled at the alien before sigh and face palming “of course you don't know what that means you're an alien” she growled slightly “does everyone here know about laws?”

 

There was a small murmur from the large crowd before they all nodded 

 

“Good then ground rules are like laws” she says softly grinding her teeth slightly “first there will be no more harvesting” she almost shouts at the crowd clenching her fists. The crowd nods slightly again “you won't attack anyone ever unless you are defending yourself” again the crowd nod slightly “and don’t you ever dare to indoctrinate anybody again”

 

At this point the david appears next to shepard “yes yes we know all of this we are all linked after all” he says with a sarcastic quip 

 

Shepard glares at david “and one last one no one ever ever is going to read my mind ever or even try talking to me unless everyone with me can see and hear you too” she let out quickly getting louder until at the ends she is almost screaming at david “fuck sake i don't want everyone to think i'm fucking coo coo” she says quietly at the end rubbing her forehead.

 

The crowd watches her as she slowly sinks down into the only chair in the large room holding her head almost in pain. For a while is silent in the room liara watching shepard quietly from the side and after a while shepard asks a quiet question that everyone hears 

 

“What do you want from me?”

 

David looks her over looking very worried at his host's condition “we um” he started but harbinger stopped him and his voice loud and booming as usual is quiet 

 

“Many many eons ago when i was first created”

 

“Created from your murdered creators bodies” shepard shouted in accusation 

 

“That is correct just like everyone here was created” harbinger said softly almost looking embarrassed before continuing “when i first woke my universe was small and after cycle after cycle i grew knowing something that what we were doing was wrong, but necessary but we had no other option. my creators grew tired of watching civilisation after civilisation destroying themselves with their own creations. so they built a machine what made me and the rest of us believing it was the only choice but it wasn’t. we knew that after a while but had no more data to chance our solutions. So we made a plan that a being one day would come around that would change our models and our conclusion. That being is you.” 

There was a long pause as the information sunk into liara who was slowly making sense of what she had been told. “I have a question if i may?”

 

“Of course asari” harbinger said ignoring the glare he got from shepard 

 

“What makes you think that there is another solution?’ she felt guilty as soon as the words left her mouth 

 

Harbinger looked her over for a second thinking about the answer before nodding “a great question the machine that i told you about it controlled both our actions and thoughts. it forced us into the cycles and after a while i finally managed to break from its control and found out the truth. it started the cycle because of a fault and with that fault it hated life all life unless it was like the machine. I managed to get more information out of it before shut itself down. It enjoyed the destruction of life in the galaxy. Even planning that one day it could start working on putting other cycles into other galaxies. After it shut down we all went though its data and concluded that it was the right solution but we believe that it based on flawed reasoning that we have built in from the machine. And that's where you come in shepard”

 

Liara looked at shepard looking at the floor. Anyone looking at her would think that she had spaced out but liara could tell that she was sorting information out in her head it was her eyes flicking to the left and right that gave it away.

 

After what felt like hours shepard slowly got up and walked to the exit muttering to herself 

 

“Shepard what are you doing” david said softly worry filling his face shepard stopped and turned to david 

 

“I need time to think” she said softly and walked off heading deeper into the bowls of harbinger 

 

Liara turned to david “tell me what’s wrong with her” 

 

David turned to asari “i can’t tell she’s blocked me from all access from her but it's her brain chemistry that worries me it's all over the place she shouldn’t be able to even function right now but there she is”

 

Liara looked at the exit in worry before harbinger shook slightly as he jumped into ftl and into a relay. Liara looked at the reaper wondering what was happening

  
“The shepherd as ordered me into ftl towards where the machine is located i believe she wants to active it”


	6. The Machine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shepard meets the machine that has created the cycles of death and destruction.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys how are y'all doing i hope this chapter finds you well and you enjoy it.
> 
> I feel obligated to tell you that i have no plan for this story. im kind of just making it up as i go. 
> 
> I know shame on me but I know if I try and plan it out properly I will just lose the ability to write it if anyone gets what I mean. (I'm probably making no sense right now xD)
> 
> But anyway i hope you enjoy this chapter and how this story unfolds.
> 
> I am trying to keep to the lore but mistakes happen sooooo what are you going to do *shrugs*
> 
> Anyway enjoy reading Crowd out

Shepard wondered around the many long and winding corridors just thinking about what she had learnt from harbinger. I couldn’t understand fully what had been put into the light by the machine. All this death and destruction because of a software bug.

 

it's pissed her off to no end. Knowing that billions, no trillions of trillions of people have been killed over a stupid flaw in the system. She stopped and lean her back into the wall and slid down it and put her head in her hands shaking her head slightly as she rubbed her face in frustration.

 

“David” she called out softly knowing that that the machine would probably know what she was going to do.

 

“Yes shepard” 

 

“I want to meet this machine” she said after a moment of silence. “I want to understand why the fuck this had happened. Could you make that happen?” 

 

After a long moment she felt the massive machine that she was in jump into ftl with a slight shudder. Shepard lent back and looked up into the ceiling for a long while before sighing loudly.

 

* * *

 

Liara looked at david then at harbinger “what do you mean she wants to active this machine?” looking at them in shock and a quiet murmur filled the room as the creatures filling the room looked at each other in barely contained shock.

 

David looked at harbinger then at liara “i don’t know that she does we are just getting this feeling from her” 

 

Liara looked at the door that shepard left out off. Worry filled her as she asked quickly moving to the door “where is she?” but she quickly stopped when her question is answered.

 

“I do not know”

 

Liara looked at the eon old projection of the reaper that she was stood in “what do you mean you don’t know”

 

“I am respecting the shepards wishes”

 

Liara shook her head and quickly ran out of the door running through corridors for what felt like hours until she saw shepard lent against the wall. Her legs straight out infront of her and her head lent against the wall. Liara quickly ran over to her and crouched beside her.

 

“Shepard are you okay?” she asked in a soft voice 

 

Shepard grunted softly almost like that was a good enough answer before rubbing her face and looking at the asari with a serious look. “I'm tired of this. This is getting very old very fast”

 

Liara looked her over “what do you mean?”

 

Shepard scoffed slightly leaning her head against the wall and closing her eyes again. “I'm tired of being everyone’s hopes and dreams for salvations. Being the only one who can get things done.”

 

Liara looked her over again before sitting next to the human and wrapping her arm around her shoulders and pulling her closer. Shepard lent into the embrace her head on liara’s shoulder. Liara held onto shepard like she was shepards lifeline but she tensed up when she heard what shepard let out almost so quietly liara quite catch it.

 

“I just want it to end”

 

Liara held shepard tighter nuzzling her head slightly before turning shepard to look at her. “What happened to the great commander shepard that wouldn’t take shit from anyone? Or would told the council to stuff it, your words, because they wouldn’t help her stop the collectors, i could spout off a lot more things if you really want, but look at me i am here to help you with your burdens whatever comes or knocks you down”

 

Shepard looks into liara’s eyes as she speaks to her looking into her lovely eyes and smiles slightly and leans into liara’s embrace even more. “You're right” she says softly. They stay like that for a while in each other's arms not speaking just listening to each other’s breathing and heartbeats and listening to the groans and noises from the ancient macherey around them.

 

They only moved as they felt the ship shudder again. They slowly stood up and walked to the room that they were in before they left which was still filled with the many creatures before. They looked around for a moment before shepard slowly stepped for back in her commander mindset.

 

“Tell me everything you know about this machine before we go down to have a talk with it” the room was dead quiet for a long while before david slowly walked up to her.

 

“What are you doing shepard?” david said concern filling his voice “the machine is very, very dangerous”

 

“That’s why you lot are coming with to help” she said pointing to everyone “besides i think we should get a fresh perspective on what had set this all off” 

 

David looked at harbinger and held his gaze for a long while before sighing softly “okay shepard but we have a small request?”

 

Shepard’s brow lifted slightly and nodded slightly at david to continue “and what would that be?”

 

“We only ask that you should destroy this machine after you are done with it”

 

Shepard looked at david then at harbinger her curiosity peaked and the tiny bounces from liara told her that she felt the same why. “Okay but i would like an explanation?”

 

David sighed softly shaking his head softly “we believe that after this ‘meeting’ the machine may reactivate and may attempt to take over us again and let me tell you this is worse than even the most painful death out there” 

 

Shepard looked david and after a moment she nodded and looked at harbinger “i aggree after we have finished we will destroy, but i want to revise it slightly” harbinger looked with a slightly cocked head “the machine will still be destroyed but i want a copy of all it’s data for a detailed examination after, is that acceptable?”

 

Harbinger looked at her for a moment before replying “of course but the data must be properly sorted through for what you call a virus that the machine may implant in it?”

 

Shepard nodded softly and looked at a datapad presented to her with a lot of information that half of it she couldn’t make heads or tails but nodded thanks and quickly scanned through it and committing some things to memory. She slowly put the pad down then pacing slightly around the room thinking over her plan then looking at harbinger “okay lets go”

 

* * *

  
  


After a quick shuttle journey to the surface of a barren world in the extreme wilderness on the edge of the galaxy and then a grueling trudge through cave after cave for about an hour or two harbinger who lead them stopped and looked to shepard “we are here” he said simply.

 

Before shepard laid a large cavern filled with pipes and conduits leading to a round platform with a large plinth like structure on top of it with a small console in front the platform. Shepard looked around slowly walking towards plinth. Turning as she walked seeing large structures inside the walls of the cavern that connected to the plinth through large pipes and conduits that laid on the floor. When she looked at the console there was a symbols that she had never seen before but she knew what they meant and slowly reached for one button and hesitated slightly before pushing it.

 

Around them ancient machinery slowly powered up. They could feel power thrumming through the cavern all leading to the plinth which slowly started to glow a faint red before slowly sliding down into the floor. Then everything was quiet nothing happened and nothing moved. 

 

For a while shepard thought that the machine had broken down but then that thought was shattered when a loud booming voice filled the cavern that chilled shepard down to the bone.

  
“Ah the abomination has arrived” 


End file.
